It is time for humanity to stand up and regain its place in the world.

When it comes to our birthdays, we normally see them as a time of gifts and external praise. Well as I turn 25 years old, for the first time I am not using my birthday for selfish or egocentric pursuits, but as a time for reflection about what the last year has brought me and where I want to focus my efforts in the years to come. So without further ado I would like to share with you the thoughts and ideas I have accumulated over the last quarter century that I feel can add great value to your life and the world we live in.

I have always heard people say how if everyone in the world would take lsd, eat psilocybin mushrooms, drink Ayahuasca, etc. that it would save the world. And although I agreed with the idea in regards to my own reality, I have always been partial to such statements because there are simply people in this world that are not in tune enough with their own selves to handle the flood gates opening and putting into question their entire belief system and possibly washing away the foundation of their entire being. However, with the vast array of problems facing the world today, I stronly believe that "psychedelic empowerment" as Terence Mckenna so boldy once said, is what will save us. Concepts such as logic and critical thinking are important, but we need to first FEEL the predicament we are facing. If everyone could FEEL the problems we face, we could move rapidly towards real solutions. But the world unfortunately, is numb. We are dying from a lack of a connection to the living world from which we came. We must reach across barriers of culture and time and space to the basic humanness that unites us all. And we can do this I am sure, with the use of psychoactive plant medicines, and inturn create a sense of global community that fosters caring and responsibility. NONE OF THIS CAN HAPPEN IF WE DO NOT CHANGE THE WAY WE THINK. We have the resources and the logistical ability to pretty much do anything in the world, but we can not seem to change the way we think. The sad reality is that we do not know who we are, and we do not know where we want to go. Western science is six hundred years old (correct me if I am wrong). Humans have been on earth for 2 million years, and life has been here for 1.4 billion. Their are profound mysteries that science will never explain. There is enormous wisdom in biology, and we must tap into it and articulate it. If we really are the crowning achievement of the evolutionary process, lets prove it by lifting ourselves to a higher state of being and not betray it by throwing the planet away. So I urge all of you to look into the many sacred plant teachers, choose the one that speaks to you, and return to harmony with all there is.

- Your friend, Paul

*NOTE:

It is important to not let the governments propoganda campaign of fear and hysteria regarding psychadelics control you anymore! They do no harm to your body and have been employed by some of the greatest minds in the world and have infiltraited influential circles at Berkeley and Harvard. We all know about the counter revolution that occured in the 60s when psychadelics where legal and readily available: People shifted to an archaic style of living, and peoples competitveness disolved. The government does not fear for your well being. They fear for that which can not be contained; the effects psychadelics would have in shaping cultural self image if psychadelics were legal. This is the hidden issue that makes governments unwilling to consider legalization: The unmanaged shift in conciousness that legal psychadelics would bring is extremely threataning to a "dominator," ego oriented culture. Putting aside that absolutely ridiculous idea of making a plant illegal, consider this. If a plant has been in use for thousands of years you can be confident that it does not carry any physical risks.

My Next Challenge

So I am in Iquitos for two days to resupply on things I need, and pull out some money for the next month. The next group does not begin until September 6th, and since I will have all this down time in the jungle, Luco and I decided I would spend eight of those days on a Sanango diet. This diet will be extremely physical and is not for the faint of heart. Any pains I have had in the past will return, my central nervous system will be recharged, and the energy in my body will shift. If thats not bad enough, for the entire eight days I have to be in complete isolation. I can not talk to anyone, use the internet, watch movies, eat salt, sugar, spices, or oil, and I am not allowed to use any soaps, deadorants, bug sprays, and toothpaste. In spite of the many turn offs, I feel that smelling bad, and enduring a week of feeling like crap is worthy trade off for an incredible streangth that will stay with me for life, and the synergy it will have with Ayahuasca. I plan to post my experiences on Friday, September 4th (my birthday!) when I get to break my fast and return to normal living conditions.

One Love

Ceremony # 6

We were orinally only supposed to be having five Ayahuasca ceremonies for every nine day session and Monday was supposed to be our day off, but of course I had to try to be funny at breakfast and suggest we do Ayahuasca that evening. Instead of insighting a riot of laughter and being called crazy, everyone thought it would be a great idea so Luco said it would be no problem at all. However, Luco had one condition; that we all go into the ceremony with the intention of bringing our families closer together. Since I love my family greatly, I put in an emmence amount of focus into pulling my family together with all the love my heart could muster. Eventually, my focus transcended the sheer thought of my family coming together and into a sort of trance where we became one semi transparent entity that shared a heart. In spite of my meditative state, nasua overcame me and since I could not plea for mercy to the Ayahuasca (because Ayahuasca only answers to the heart and in my heart I did not truly want it to end since it I knew it was good for me) so I could only turn to my family for the strenght and support to make it through the night. It was extremely consoling and heart-warming to know that we always have our family (and our best friends who are like family) who never pass judgment, never stop loving you, and will always put your welfare above their own. I find that the love of friends and family is one of the greatest forces in the universe and creates a bond that no worldy pressures can break.

Ceremony # 5

My fifth ceremony was extremely physical. As Luco conducted the Icaros and the Ayahuasca began to take effect, a glowing red jelly fish type creature hovered above me and attached its many tentacles to my body. It slowly scanned my body with a beam of light, starting from my feet and ending at my head. The best comparison I could make is to that of a laser gun they use at department stores to scan barcodes. Anyways, as this jelly fish scanned my body I could feel every pore of my body emmiting light and becoming completely rejuvinated. The greatest effects took place around my intestines. I could feel energy blockages bursting open and allowing energy to channel through places that I had no idea where dormant. As many of you know, I have been on some crazy diets in my day, and I am sure that they caused a lot of disharmony in that region of my body. Now it feels as if my metabolism has been reset and when I eat I have a greater awareness as to how food affects both my physical self and my mind. I can literally feel how different foods excite or dull my mind, and if my cells are getting what they truly desire. In addition, my hand became extremely hot during ceremony, and when I asked Luco why this was happening he said that I was pulling energy from others in the room, and to take that oppurtunity to apply my hands to cold areas of my body to bring them alive and pull out the cold energy. Like last ceremony, I again found that my mind kept drifting towards very trivial thoughts and concerns, but this time something amazing happend! I was catapulted upwards from the ground floor where I was to some sort of higher plane that was full of light. The Ayahuasca was helping me to return to a higher thought process that is hard to translate into words. Even if I tried, I could not think about cultural pursuits such as the accumulation of material wealth, or even anything pertaining to the individual. I now shared a conciousness with everything and everyone. Therefore all I could do was think of love and anything that propelled the universe forward. Eventually what goes up must come down, and I returned to a more grounded state where I asked the Ayahuasca to help me realize what career I am destined for. It showed me standing on a mountain at the base of a trail. I have interpreted this in two differnent ways. The first would be that I am to be some sort of treking guide, and the second would be that I am to lead someone or some people along some path to a place I am not yet able to construe. Notwithstanding, I am joyful about this materialization, and eager to see what evolves into.

Ceremony #4

Last night I decided to switch up the routine a little bit and I asked Luco to pour me 3/4 of the glass full of Ayahuasca (he ended up pouring even more than that) which was 2-3 times the amount almost everyone else was taking. It was a very stranger ceremony for a number of reasons. Number one being that for some reason it was incredibly hard to focus, and I found my mind wandering to some very weird places. I even found myself so spaced out I forgot I had taken Ayahuasca. I began getting frustrated because I desperately wanted to focus on my visions so I could do as much as I could for the process, but it just was not in the cards for me last night. This, I think, brings up a very good point about how in western thought we are always seeking some end result or quantifiable progession in whatever task we undertake. However, with Ayahuasca I learned that there is no end point. This journey never ends, and it is something that requires diligence and the highest degree of patience. Overall I was slightly releived that I could not focus and that I did not know where the energy I was purging was coming from. It gave me the chance to not have to think to much, let the medicine take its course, and to just "enjoy the show." One vision I was able to absorb and digest for the next 8 hours of my sleepless state was one where I was looking at myself and suddenly something zipped in from out of nowhere and tore my head off. This sounds much more violent and grousome than what really happend. A better picture would be to just imagine my head disapeared from the space it occupied. After this happend I pondered what this meant in regard to myself and how I should lead my life. It all became clear when the vision I was having zoomed away from my headless self and showed me that the heart was there to lead me and not my mind. Although it seems cliche, I think this is a very important observation because no matter how many times you hear the phrase "follow your heart," we rarely heed those words. If I look back on my own life I know that it is my mind and logic that hold supremecy over my actions, while the heart is just a lonely servant . This simply can and should not be. Our heart holds only truth, it never lies. The mind however, can play tricks on you, and work with your ego to convince you that the lie you are living is in fact truth. Think about it... do all the accounting majors in college do it because they love accounting and their little hearts will not rest until they can memorize all the GAAP(generaly accepted acounting principles)? Yes, some really do enjoy accounting, but the majority are in it because they are following what their mind is telling them, which is that they will get a good job and in turn have financial security. The point I am trying to make is that I and anyone who whishes to take my advice should stop being so risk averse and really live. Otherwise your heart will never be fulfilled and you wil never reach the level of comfort and happyness that you were born to. It reminds me of a quote that I once heard:

"Peoples greatest fear is not death, it is to risk being alive"

Ceremony #3

Last nights ceremony was far more gentle than the two I experienced before. Everything was in slow motion and incredibly serene. No nausea overtook me this time so I had much more time to focus on my visions and important life questions I am seeking answers to. As time went on however, I realised this ceremony was not going to be easy street. In the absence of intense physical discomfort was a never ending night of sorrow. At first I could not really figure out where this sadness was coming from, but I knew it was something that had to leave so I surrendered completely to the Ayahuasca and trusted that it knows much more than I do in this divinely orchestrated healing process. After a few hours things started coming to the surface regarding where this energy was coming from. I realised to an extent that I was feeling much of the sadness and pain that I have caused others to feel throughout my life. A few other things became very clear to me that I do not yet feel comfortable divulging to the general public, but I hope as I let go of those issues I will share them all with you. Later on a giant clock apeared and then shattered to show me that time does not exist, that it is infinate, and to not let the idea of time to dictate what you do and do not do in this life. To never think thoughts such as "I am to old to start this, I can not go back to school, its to late to do that...blah blah blah." We have numerous lives, and each life is an opportunity to purify your soul and bring yourself back to oneness with everything. It is never to late to act upon anything that you know deep down will make you a happier, healthier, and better person. We must remember that the world has no seperate parts, that it is one system, and that we are all connected. By hurting any member or part of the world, you are hurting yourself and everyone else. By helping yourself and living truthfully to your true inner self, you are helping all things achieve happyness, and an end to suffering. We are lead to believe that we are lacking in areas of our lives, and we blame ourselves an others for not meeting the expectations we set for ourselves. This my friends is living a lie. We are all born perfect, grow up perfect, and end our lives perfect.

Ceremony #2

The second ceremony was absolutely life changing. The visions I experienced were extremely intense, even scary at times. It was definitely a night of purging and a variety of emotions. I do not know if I have already gone over this but with Ayahuasca you feel everything you are purging. For example; when you purge fears that you have it is very very scary, when you are purging mind chatter you are stuck in endless thought spirals, and when you purge any sadness you are very sad. Nonetheless, I welcomed these waves of emotions because after suffering through each part of the purging process, the joy you feel is unmeasurable. Think of it this way... take all the pleasures you can imagine in this world such as fame, money, 19 supermodel girlfriends, being loved by everyone, etc. and all these combined would only be a drop of water in the ocean of joy I was swimming in. They call Ayahuasca the vine of the dead for a reason. This is because I truly died and was reborn as the darkness left me and I became light. After my rebirth I flew all around the world visiting family and friends and showered them with the infinite love and light energy that we all have within us. I then poured it all over the earth and watched as our planet was enveloped by a red glow. Another part of the ceremony that was very special for me was when a little girl spirit flew over next to me and kissed me on the cheek. It gave me the greatest sense of comfort, love , and protection that I have ever felt. It was the feeling that no matter what I face in life, mighty forces will come to my aid. The last thing I want to tell you guys about is what the spirit world is like. Basically its a huge party. Nothing exists there except light, beauty, and love. All the spirits were smiling towards me, giving me a "thumbs up," and even bowing back to me after I bowed to them. Even when things got tough, they were always there to give me breaks from suffering to remind me of their gentle, and compassionate nature, and to show me there was light (no pun intended) at the end of the tunnel.