Certainty in Uncertainty.

Unlike the rollercoaster rides of the previous ceremonies, during this ceremony a stillness came over my body and mind. It was very theraputic to listen to the sound of silence and to know that you can always retreat to the inside of yourself when it seems like the world around you is collapsing. Even when lightning would strike in the surrounding jungle it stirred nothing within me. I am now very intrested in beginning a daily mediation practice so that I can clear my mind and prepare for the days trials and celebrations. As I have noted before, after drinking the Ayahuasca a huge cosmic party was awaiting me upon my arrival. All sorts of flowers littered the ceiling, multi-colored fireworks shot off all around me, and spirits danced to the tune of Lucos Icaros. What the Ayahuasca showed me this time around was the reason for these large celebrations. The celbratory nature of my Ayahuasca ceremonies was due to the spirits being overjoyed that someone came to visit them. The truth of the matter is that they are very lonely at times because humanity has disconnected from nature and the spirit world, and rational thought seems to reject all things mystical without a thought of weather there might be some truth in what billions of people claim to be real. Instead of seeing things outside of myself on this Ayahuasca journey, I was shown the intricacies of my genetic structure. I saw the codons of my DNA more clearly than the most powerful microscope, ribosomes, mitochondria, and the nucleus of my hundred of trillions of cells as if I was back in highschool biology class. At the moment I could understand the purpose, inner workings, and language of what we call the human body. I desperately wanted to write it down, but it seemed that the ayahausca permanently paralyzed me to stop me from doing so and to let me know that this was sacred information that I could only glimpse, not keep. During the more contemplative stage of the ceremony I began pondering about how to live life, my emotions, and various other things. At this moment the Ayahuasca showed me an island in the middle of a vast ocean. As I aproached the island I began thinking that it was trying to tell me to live as if I lived on an island; only seek the necessities in life such as heat, shelter, water, and food. But the Ayahuasca interupted this thought and told me that I must be the island. The point in telling me to be the island was to hammer home the idea that there is certainty in uncertainty. An island is the greatest example of something that remains certain in an ocean of uncertainty. Certainty and uncertainty are two aspects of our nature. At one level, things have to be certain or order couldn´t exist. At another level, things have to be uncertain or there would be no newness to life. Evolution moves forward through surprising events. So the point I am trying to make is that uncerainty is nothing to fear, but is something to be looked forward to. Why fear it when it can do nothing to shake the foundation or "island" of your being? Later on in the night I again began thinking about how as this towering corporate culture threatens to suffocate us, Ayahuasca can provide for the West what Peyote did for the Indians; instant proof, beyond any doubt, of the existence of a nonmaterialist mystery worth exploring. Realizing that many people are unwilling to go to such lengths it came to me that proof of the mystical can be found in cutting edge science. With so much downtime in the jungle I have smothered myself with any literature that can help explain the unexplainable. One such book was on quantum theory. I already knew and understood Heisenbergs uncertainty principle (don´t ask me how) but after reading about "quantum jumps," quntum nonlocality" and other concepts I can not recal the names of, I saw that even to the raional skeptic, the proof is there. I wont bore you with the details of it all here, but if you can´t make it down to the jungle, do some reading.

Praying for you always,

- Paul